Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Does it get better?

It's been a little over two months since Teddy left our lives and I'm not sure that it's truly getting better.
Sure,the stress of dealing with his late life maladies has been taken away,but so has the joy of my buddy being here as well.

It still just does not feel "right" around here without the world toughest pug,but you do get used to it-it's just that something is missing.
For the last year or two,Teddy would go upstairs with Rachel for the night,while I hung out down here on the third shift schedule,despite being off work,but I miss the nights when Teddy was Teddy at 3 AM,hanging out on the couch together,just the two of us.
Or even the days when Ryan was still at home,the three of us watching a ball game from the West Coast.

I miss that little guy even more than I thought I would when he passed.
Ed is taking up the slack and he has been a huge help,but it still isn't the same as having Teddy here.
These quiet overnights are just missing something and it's pretty clear just what that something is.
Nothing can bring him back and I wouldn't want him to suffer just for my sake,but there is no denying there is a hole here.
A hole that another dog simply cannot fill.

I always discussed with Cherie over the final few years of Teddy's life that I thought I wanted a new dog as quickly as possible when that day came in order to help the healing process.
To my surprise,I just don't have the interest yet.
That isn't to say that means never,just not yet.
Rachel wants a Japanese Chin eventually (keep that in mind, readers),although the actual list depends on cost and availability and includes Boston Terrier,Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and English Bulldogs.
I do know that I don't think I want a Pug this time.
I love the breed and maybe eventually,but Teddy has left a legacy that I don't want another dog that looks similar to have to spend their life being second best.
Compare it to this in sports,you don't want to be the person that succeeds a legendary coach,you want to be the guy that follows the successor.

I suppose that is to be expected when you lose part of your family,especially when it is a live-in member of the family.
Life is different now,although certainly not better.
I guess the answer is simply hang in there for each day and let time take its course...

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