I am in the middle of the process of dealing with the loss of my mother, but until the "life celebration" event that is in the planning is complete, I don't think that the gravity of this will sink in.
I've never lost a parent before, but when I talk to people that have (or have lost a spouse), what I consistently hear is this- the toughest time isn't immediately after, it's the time when the work is complete, the people bringing condolences are gone and that is when the hurt hits home.
Christmas has evolved for me through the years.
It's been something that I've enjoyed some times more than others and the most recent few years have been some of the best holiday seasons that I've ever had, but things have changed now.
December will now be marked with loss and although I can separate the good times from the bad, they will still be attached from this point forward.
I'm positive that there will eventually be a post where I write about my mom and who she was, but I'm not sure when that will be finished.
I've started a few drafts and worked on it a bit, but I haven't been able to get through it.
Trust me, I have feelings and emotions that extend beyond my own, so it has been difficult for me to write how I feel and yet do so honestly and fairly in a way that might not hurt or offend anyone else.
I hope when it is finalized, that it will show how I loved and cared about my mother, but will not idealize as well.
Enough about me, even though this is my space-Ha Ha!
Thank you to my family, my wonderful wife Cherie and my children Ryan and Rachel.
Your kindness and love help me get through every day and my dog Posey too.
I'm blessed in marriage as I realize that I have done far better than I deserve with someone like Cherie.
I'm not a person that gushes in "print" about the best this and the best that, but I know what I have in my family.
So many times you read people on Facebook bragging about their wonderful person in their life and two weeks later, calling them out for being a complete jerk that they can't stand.
I'd rather keep it on an even keel, but trust me, I see and I have seen.
Dogs are so terrific because of their unconditional love and their innate knowledge of their human to know just when they are needed the most.
All of our dogs (Posey is our fourth) have been different in their own way, but Posey's unique manner of showing her love for our family has been a very special addition.
I'm also thinking of all my friends and family as well.
It's self-serving to say there are too many to mention because doesn't that sound pretentious that I have SO many friends?.
Between the people that I have met from the minor league baseball/autographing world, the boxing people that I have met from Twitter and podcast appearances, and the people that care about the teams that I root for that I interact with on social media, I do have a decent amount of people that I enjoy talking with, even if it can be often centered on a common topic or interest.
Social media gets such a bad rap, but like any tool, it is only valuable when used properly.
I've met so many great people and so few trolls (Ironically, the trolls that I have on social media are almost always from people that know me from outside social media!) on Twitter that I don't think people look at the good side that it can have.
Finally, a few special thanks to the friends that are there when I need something to take my mind off things day to day and yet take the time to interact in various ways.
Thanks to my nephew Jeff, who always asks the questions of me that I love to answer and spin-off into interesting conversations.
Jeff's the only nephew that I really know well and through the years, we've become pretty close as more than uncle/nephew, but as friends.
It wouldn't be normal without noting Battlin' Bob, who it seems like I see once or twice a year with work schedules, but I "talk" on Facebook every day and who always makes me laugh!
Denise Nicarry is the "big sister" I've never had and no matter whether I am up or down, she's always making sure that I'm doing OK or not getting too self-important!
And it wouldn't be a normal day to not hear from Fred Landucci.
Fred is the type of friend that every person needs to have at least one in their lifetime and I'm not sure that I have been around a person that is as selfless in friendship as Fred has been to me.
It's also a pretty rare day that I don't hear from Mike Oravec either.
Mike always lets me know that I can call him anytime when I need to talk or deal with various things and I often do.
It can be comforting to have people that care about your well being with nothing to gain for themselves other than just knowing that I am OK.
I also don't want to miss the other person that I "talk" to almost every day.
I speak with Ian McArdle all the time about the Buckeyes, politics, and lord knows what else.
There is always something new to talk about and with Ian, it is high-level conversation that makes me think about a point of view and often times see a point that I might not have seen previously.
I'm sure I've missed more than a few people, it's early and I'm more than a bit hazy, so I truly apologize if I have missed anyone.
Trust me, I appreciate you all more than you know.
Now to one of my two (the list isn't long) Christmas standards- the Beach Boys "Little Saint Nick".
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