The first was doubting the authenticity, as earlier this week the internet reported a favorite actor had passed away and it turned out to be a hoax, but shortly thereafter the reports were confirmed and it began to sink a bit in different ways.
Bryant certainly was a tremendous talent on the floor and was arguably basketball's top offensive force in the years after Michael Jordan and if you rate LeBron James above him (I'd rate James above Bryant as a player, but Bryant would have the edge as an offensive dynamo) as an overall player, Bryant would certainly be right behind James.
Where you have Bryant on the all-time player list, likely depends on your age and how much basketball that you have watched, Bryant could arguably be rated as a top-five player in the history of basketball and while I'd rank him in the top ten, if you thought Bryant was a top-five overall player, I wouldn't call that ridiculous by any means.
Bryant's off-court image was mixed between his 2003's sexual assault charges and his life since where Bryant had kept a clean image, was constantly seen with his family and even if you believed in his guilt in the mentioned case (Bryant was not charged in criminal court, but he did admit a sexual encounter and settled with the victim out of civil court), Bryant hadn't been in trouble since.
Bryant was often seen in public with his daughter Gianna at various sporting events, developing a film entitled "Dear Basketball" and I often heard about his kindness to others, especially in the last year when he and Gianna were discussed on the Ball and Chain podcast (hosted by writer Steve Rushin and his wife, former WNBA player Rebecca Lobo) about Bryant's kindness to their children.
The legacy of Kobe Bryant will be a mixed one and just as one can be lionized after death, one can be misunderstood in life.
I'll deal with the basketball end of Bryant's career on another day, but I'd like to transition a bit into what I'd call- "the power of refusal".
Reading of the death of Bryant on social media, many well-meaning folks are posting notes (I'll be paraphrasing) such as "telling people that you care about them" "don't carry friction forward because you could lose them at any time" and one person on Twitter wrote, " being right isn't important- making things right is".
While all of those thoughts are admirable and it would be wonderful to have such things work out, I'm going to debate the opposition argument tonight- The power of refusal can be a very freeing experience.
The refusal to participate can allow one to move on far quicker than one pining for what used to be.
Imagine the refusal to continue to allow negativity in your life, imagine the freedom and strength that you build in your life when you refuse to continue to deal with problems involving others that have plagued you for years.
Imagine the relief when you simply refuse to engage or acknowledge people when the only reason that you can come up with is that they are "blood".
"Blood" is the most overrated reason to retain people in your life that consistently hurt you and the people that you care about.
Everyone in this world has "blood" relatives that hurt you to various degrees and almost everyone has people in your radius that care about you as a person and doesn't have a biological reason to do so- should they be less important than someone that causes problems in your life just because they aren't a biological relative?
The power of refusal to engage with people that bring nothing to your life but difficulties isn't always easy but in the end, it's far better than continuing to play with fire.
Some circumstances are worth revisiting and sentimentality can come into play in almost all cases for people and days that have gone by, but if you have tried in the past with a particular person-think carefully before trying again.
I get it- there is often outside pressure, especially when dealing with family.
Just draw that line and decide when the line for no return is crossed.
There is nothing wrong with clearing the air and when a sudden tragedy such as Kobe Bryant occurs, it does make you consider making amends and trying to clear the slate.
Just be careful and remember- when you clean the slate you often wind up with chalk all over yourself.
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