The laughter that comes from looking silly in the middle of change can be funny and yet often not,but the behind the scenes problem when you try to change yourself are more than you often know.Change also comes when our children move away as well.
My life is different than it was on the day before Ryan moved out and when the day arrives that Rachel leaves home,my life will once again change.
That's not all bad.
Although I miss sitting around and watching late night games with Ryan and shooting the bull,I've never been shy about telling the truth about the last year or so that he was here.
The time was right for Ryan to leave the nest because as I've said "Ryan was ready to leave and I was ready to let him go"
Saying all of that,things still changed for me,but in such a positive way.
Cherie and Rachel have each helped me move into a life that features more of a upbeat form and even though I still have my days (just ask them),I believe that I have developed into a different person over the last few years.
Not just in who I am,but how I deal with things.
Don't get me wrong,I still have a long way to run in dealing with things positively.
I still get upset easily and I have issues in being able to let things go.
When things bother me ,they tend to eat at me and I have real difficulty letting things roll off my back.
I'll have friends tell me to just let it go or don't worry about it.
I can't help it,I'm a worrier and things just get to me,but it isn't quite as bad as it used to be and in recent years,I've taken some small steps to tolerate things better.
I'll give two examples during something that happened to me lately from the same event.
I'm not going to get into specifics,but I read a biased account of an event from a person that I am not friendly with about a person that I was friends with.
I sat down and prepared to write a scathing commentary about this guy on the board that he wrote on.
I even wrote it and then decided to let it go.
Small victory for this day.
Another one came when a friend suddenly doesn't consider me one anymore on the above incident (I'm not the only one).I don't understand why and I want to know why and what has happened,but trying to let it go despite the hurt that I and the others involved feel.
Letting go,another small victory.
That's part of change too being able to live with the limitations of what you are as a person.
Learning to live with yourself often can be more difficult than you can imagine,especially with the human foibles that we all personally have.
Change also means having the insight into realizing that you are flawed as a person and accepting that there are things that need changing.
I'm far from perfect on a good day,but if you truly want to change things about yourself,you have to be able handle the truth about yourself.
Example-I've had my days of being pretty egocentric,yet I've never always known that.
It took people that I care about and care about me to let me know that everything is not always about my likes and dislikes.
I'm still working on that one (ha ha),but realizing that things had to change is half the battle and that isn't always an pleasant realization to come to.
I've changed things about myself,my environment and how I treat people,but as I've told so many that I'm still a work in progress and have a long way to work on this canvas!
Some things have changed in my life,others still need to have a few tweaks,but the carousel of life never stops.
People will come and go and each of them bring a little something to your life that no one can.
We all change to various degrees,it's just a matter of adjusting or making the commitment to be better.
It's quite a long ride as we age and one that hits ups and downs,but one thing is for sure-you better be able to adjust to change because it never stops....
I've two other requests for topics and if there is no interesting news today,I'll be doing one of them tonight.
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