Sunday, February 21, 2016

Is anything going to feel this real forever?

Photo Credit:Ed Miles-NME
I'm paraphrasing the Foo Fighters and their wonderful song "Everlong",but I do question things sometimes.
Life's a funny thing and turns on a dime.

I still have my good days and bad days and what I want to write and say varies.
Some days,I have things that I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't get them out in some form,whether that is verbally with the important people in my family or good friends,typing it out here or even on the podcast-It needs to come out somehow.
Sometimes,it's just looking into black and I have nothing to say.
On these days,I have to force myself to take care of business.
The perception is that I just say whatever I want and there is some truth to that,but there is more than that as well.
Sometimes,you just aren't ready to turn it on and then it's easy to disappoint.

You see,life is more than sports to me,although many have thought that is the main focus of mine.
I have other interests,other things to learn about and other things that I am passionate about.
However,I love the games.They are my ultimate distraction from the disappointment that I often carry around and I suppose that's what has always held the attraction to me from early childhood on.
Being a whiz kid wasn't easy and you have two roads-the road of challenges to build growth and work ethic or the way of ease in which you coast on talent until the challenge becomes one made of oneself.

I've thrown myself into various interests and I'm far more multi-faceted than people think.
It's only the people that know me very well that really know that.
Those of you that know me to that level all know you much that means to me when we have discussions that are far deeper than "are the Indians really going to stick with Abraham Almonte in centerfield"?
That doesn't mean that I think less of talking sports at all,just that mixing it up is so enjoyable for me.

I'm writing this as a sort of a mea culpa on those rare occasions that things just dry up.
I'm starting to get rejuvenated and I'm starting to have some more things to say on sports and otherwise.
I realize most of you come here to read about sports or even the stuff I write about that deal with sports in a roundabout way,but it's about more than that.
It's paying a debt.
A debt to myself and others for what I (if not others) perceive as a waste of many things that I could have offered.

I've wrote many times that this is an avenue to get things down on "paper" for my grandchildren to know me better and a way to look back at myself as I see things at middle age.
But,it's also a way to entertain,make you think or just plain relax as you read or listen to my "work" here and I hope that I'm able to do that.

I also want to thank a few of you.
I do this from time to time,but I never want to take things for granted.
Of course,there's the lovely Cherie,who basically takes care of me under such duress and must really love me to tolerate me!

I also want to thank a few others based on this.
To Big Don Cain and Fred Landucci,my two most devoted readers/listeners-thanks for caring about the work I do here.
Few things pick me up more than when you two gentlemen drop me a line and tell me that you liked something on the podcast or the blog and something that I jogged a personal memory out of it.
I always appreciate that....

To Steve Brandenburg,thanks so much for the last year of sponsoring the podcast.
You allowed me to pick up a new way to speak out and without you,my voice would have been much more limited and I sincerely appreciate that.

To those of you that call and write me and walk me through things.I appreciate you as well.
I'm not going to name names,but you know who you are and I thank you...

And to those of you that read and listen,but I don't hear from-thank you too.
I know you are there and my hits show that and even though I like hearing from you on comments or personal notes-you too are appreciated.

I've never tried to make money off this.
It's always been about the art (how pretentious sounding is that?) and I've turned down ads here.
I didn't mind getting a sponsor that I knew,but I didn't want things on here out of my control.
I'm not against money and if I could pay my bills by doing this-I'd do it tomorrow,but I don't think that this type of varied topics has a huge market.
I don't even make money off Steve's sponsorship-it went straight to Podbean and I'm still paying for equipment myself.
Actually,there is a really sharp microphone that I've got my eye on sometime soon that will make the podcast sound really good when I can afford it,but my point is I don't get rich off this.
I had a fellow ask me why this was worth doing without making money once and I didn't know what to tell him.
Now I kinda do-it makes me feel better.
Talking about topics,about forgotten people from the past and yes stories about my past and present makes me feel better for the time that I'm writing.

I feel better now.
Until next time......

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